LI: To use the 5 senses and personification to help us paint a picture with words.
There I was running across the field, of course it’s not me it’s my owner. The ball looked pumped, I didn’t want to hit it but my owner forces me to. His gross toenails, pressing against my face. I was really hurt and exhausted so I decided to give my owner pins and needles by squeezing his foot. “Ouch!” squealed my owner. Minutes past and I could tell he was going to put his foot inside me again, I could smell his repugnant stench lowering down inside me. He quickly smashed his foot down, luckily I moved backwards, his foot smashed against the muddy grass. I then taste the sweat, raining into my pie hole. I tried so hard to not to breath, but the smell made me want to pass out, but who knows what his feet might do? I breathe out, I wasn’t ready and he’d already moved. My body was tingling, like I had been stung by a wasp, luckily the game had 1 minute to go. I thought to myself I could last one minute but when the game was over my owner’s team lost, all of a sudden he starts moving his dirty feet and stomps, he takes his feet out of me then throws me. Yay I said as I cheered, he was gone!
Oh Hsen and I have written this story from the eyes of a old, dirty pair of shoes. It is about a pair of shoes who is owned by a soccer player, he smells is feet, and tastes his sweat and he couldn't wait for when the game was over.
2 comments:
A powerful piece of writing Latham! Your vivid description of events through the eyes of your shoes paints a very clear picture in my mind. I felt their pain as the toenails pressed against their faces. Well written boys.
I really love this story Latham. It is so inventive and descriptive. It made me laugh. Keep up the good writing. Love Mum xx
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